Storming Soul on a Windy Journey

The lowest point and I am accused
as the accuser speaks I am not amused

I witnessed a murder and it pierces the heart
love thrown down and the heartbeat never starts

All was given and all was taken
undying love that soon was to be shaken

I don't really understand why others seem so blind
they toss around my heart and expect grace to
let them grind

Why is it happening?I never wanted this
dealing with all these things and thinking in my life they were myths

I am so tired and my heart is so torn
walking in Christ and been tried since I was reborn

I feel so empty and turned inside out
I am too tired to raise my hands or even yell a shout

Could u pray?
What could you say?

Are you concerned about me?
Am I OK today?
What can I do?
Where can I go?
Am I a doormat or statue for you to use and then go?

If I was not here what would you do?
Would it make a difference without my "I love yous"?

Would I be missed? Is there a task not done?
Are we really together, do we function as one?

Unkind words seem to float near by 
a constant irritant like some decaying fly

Decay and demons bring ugliness and rot
the mind is a trashcan and my nose full of snot

It's slimy green tint flows uncontrollably down my lips
ugliness has made it known and my hopes topple like poker chips

My laughing once there has know taken a turn
the smile once there now frowns with a burn

I cry for help from the caves of my soul
not one person hears but I hear cries from Sheol

I don't understand why I hurt so bad
regrets to deep and a heart so sad

I know God made me a warrior who is burly and strong
but right now I feel like the sword of the Word is not too long

I feel solo and like it's just me
my own world of misfits all standing like trees

As the winds come and blow all leaves are lost
the trees they wither and their lives was their cost

I'm a leaf who fades in the wind
they blow me for miles until I come to the end

I land in a spot and I pray there is peace
solitude I need and the Holy Spirit released

His power I greed as the brook quenches my need
for without my Christ there would be no creed

In the end it was told that our race will be won
God give me strength this day until my race is done.