Momma’s PhD

I am a mom and my degree is enormously huge

Letters after my last name are like a huge deluge

I have an Associate's Degree in Kidology and Bottles

I have Mastered diaper changing and with diarrhea I don't dare dawdle

I’ve felt inside a diaper and a casualty I became

A poopy finger is no way to gain letters at the end of my name

A degree I have and many I earned

Meals I’ve prepped and food I’ve burned

Biscuits not risen and noodles still crunchy

Talking baby talk like “baby want her lunchy”

I’ve bleached the colors and colored the whites

Washed rugs with the dogs bed and got hair on her tights

The dishes they pile and the laundry too

The sour stench , “Is that the dishes or my stew”

Oh no I think I put dish soap in the roux

The laundry it’s stale, that’s probably mildew

The house, it’s a shamble as the floor can't be seen

Toys are everywhere but it’s a hoarders huge dream

I received a Bachelor’s and was the favorite in my class

I’m the grocery store queen and was honored with it printed on my glass

My mommy mug has many stains

Some logged into the “Hall of Fame”

If you ask me of bonbons I’ll politely turn and say

My couch hasn’t seen my butt since seriously the other day

Bonbons yeah right? I eat the babies Peach Delight

And sometimes pureed carrots, when I mop the floors late at night

I have kidneys like a camel when I’ve rocked the baby to sleep

But bar the door once she starts to snore as a trail I will keep

My legs have hair no Nair could assist

A bush hog maybe, if the farmer wouldn’t resist

Have you seen my dolly’s head

Maybe it’s under your sister’s bed

Throne time is certainly mine

Until dolly’s head tops the toilet line

So let me say just as a taste of frustration

Those Christmas letters bragging on your big education

Awesome, hooray and that is just dandy

But did they teach you how to remove the hair from the candy

Education is awesome and hats off to you proudly

But why is a mom considered not the Summa Cum Laude

Valedictorian, Sam I am

Salutatorian, I’m the Little Engine That Can

My rhyme much too long should turn into a song

A mom’s life although challenging one could never go wrong

So degrees I have them and they make me quite proud

A MOM I AM AND I’LL SHOUT IT QUITE LOUD

Being a mom is the most amazing job, not always easy but I know that no matter what I was important in the life of my child! Motherhood is not appreciated like it should be nowadays, just a tribute to mommies.